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Volume 3 #5 October 21, 2001
The "Great Bubba Muck Incident". This is not about some redneck - tabaccee chewin' - gun nut from the South dispute. Although, that is a tempting subject for a future writing tackle! No, this is about my propensity to nickname everything. No stuffed animal toy is ignored. We have "bumper bears" and "tweaker cats" and "tershabelle turtles" and a fuzzy doggie with half mast eyes named "Howie". Just a few examples to enlighten you about my slightly tilted habits. But mostly, I bestow them on my Little Guy. I will not relate the numerous endearments I have bestowed upon him. They are personal and very... kind of... unusual. Enough said. Okay, I've laid the ground work. Set your minds up. Here comes the afore announced "Great Bubba Muck Incident". I used to drink a soda product, Canadian made, called "Bubble Up". I get sugar rushes from regular sodas. Caffeine I cannot tolerate. Going down the coffee aisle at the local grocery store causes me severe jitters! Coca Cola, no way. Sodium Saccharin is a definite no-no. Where do they brew that stuff? The Pacific? The largest water retaining ocean in the world?? My "Bubba Muck" contained Calcium Saccharin. So this I could safely ingest. Back to the "Great Bubba Muck Incident". My Dude does the grocery shopping. I hate it, so he kindly does it for me. On one of his journeys to the market, he was trying to find "Bubble Up". But was cursed with the fact that I only called it "Bubba Muck". He did not want to inquire of a clerk about the whereabouts of "Bubba Muck". Can you blame him? He spent about an hour driving his shopping cart up and down the soda aisle. A sudden flash struck him! He was a success driven man. He revisited the soda section and put a few cases of "Bubble Up" into his many miles on the odometer steel armored cart. He triumphantly gleed his way through the check out stand. He arrived home with a less than pleasant smile on his face. So, now I drink only bottled water. "It's much better than carbonation accosting my teeth". ( I keep reassuring myself. ) Most of all, I do it for my Little Dude who should never have to endure the "Great Bubba Muck Incident", again.
A little P.S., here. We are going to carve our first Halloween pumpkin. His name is "Dave".

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©2000 Carol Ann Carson
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