This is really FREE speech!
Volume 3 #2 April 23, 2001
TRUST. A simple gathering of four consonants and one vowel. "U", the vowel is much more than just the center of letters that form the word. It is essential to its "true" meaning. That meaning, however, can be quite complex. Don't rush to your dictionary or thesaurus. You will not find that "true" definition in print form. It is only to be defined and understood in your heart. Think about who can you really trust? Scan about you. Allow your mind to access the glossary of beings with whom you interact. Is it your oh so significant other? That one you've been sharing your life with for 20 years, 20 months or 20 seconds? Or those "self proclaimed" best friends? Valued acquaintances? Let's do a trust test. Come on. What can it cost you? You may profit tremendously or lose in equal proportion. At least, you could be enlightened. Now that you're enticed and committed, sharpen those pencils. Polish those mouse's... Whatever. Use your long neglected Crayola box if you wish. This is a crap shoot where all you wager is your emotional awareness. A little dicey. But that's the desired solution. Scenario: you awaken and you're feelin' good. A smile glides across your face. How does the closest object of your imparted trust react? The most common expectation would be in kind. Unfortunately, there are cantankerous exceptions. As the day progresses and you both are subjected to the inevitable emotional taxations, the stress thermometer rises faster than the interest on credit cards. Later, when you drag your weary self back to the old homestead, how do you react to each other? Is it a competition of who had the most unbearable day? Who demands the most pain killers for the most intense migraine? The trust you both displayed upon waking is shot! We're talking war! No trust in war. So, one of you or both cave and trust has become resentment. You feel the hovering clouds of impending anger. So, you sit in darkening deafening silence. Crash!! The inevitable verbal brawl occurs. And maybe a hinge threatening slam or two. And what about your ever so vigilant neighbors? No solution, let alone solace, there. Only a venomous greeting of degrading gossip. "Did you hear the racket that went on down the street last night? I predict doom and gloom." (they gloat) Like they don't have the same problems? You realize it was probably you that they had their speed dial finger excitedly poised at striking 911 about. You might as well have done an exclusive with the "Enquirer". At least, you know you can't trust it. OK. Now, onto coworkers. Can you safely relate the condition of your private life? Reveal your inner feelings and be certain that they won't use it as fodder for the next edition of the "Hot Sheet at the Water Cooler"? What about your social style friends? That is if you're dubiously fortunate enough to have any. Do they only speak to you when they have gloating dire gossip about someone else to savor including every gory detail? When they impart it to you, they will at some point in this swill of conversation ask: "How are you?" You open your mouth and then wisely realize that you will be the next topic of their scorching telephone wires if you utter anything besides: "I'm doing great. Couldn't be better." How did you fare on this inquiry of self reality? Go turn on the water taps and cry? Or live in silent denial? The upside of this is that there are people you can trust. They are just very difficult to find. More so than the lost Continent of Atlantis. Wade through the crabbers of chaos. Think: if you got plunked in jail one dark and stormy night. (always wanted to use those words) Who could you plunk your allotted one call coinage on and know you would get the answer and the aid? There will be one. TRUST me.
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©2000 Carol Ann Carson
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