This is really FREE speech!
Volume 2 #1 January 24, 2000
The Golden Globes! I think it would have been more appropriately titled: "The Global Comedy of Errors". It was a colossal, badly directed mess. Dick Clark who has in the past produced, with uncanny precision, these "please I love my self so much, give me something to remind me of how much I can justify my ego" extravaganzas. I dearly love Dick Clark. I grew up watching Bandstand. But he looked as though he were suddenly thrown into anchoring because somebody else didn't show. This man does not muck up lines. He is on top of situations like these. He is the definitive Pro. At least, my significant other and I had a great laugh fest! There were famous people who arrived and were misidentified. Camera shots that make your 8mm home movies look like masterpieces. Oh, the list of misdemeanors goes on. The actresses and their designer gowns. I think they showed more skin than you could see on a nude beach! All these women were saluted for enduring the drizzle of rain. The new hair styles that they pay outrageous amounts of money for looked like they needed a few buckets of water poured over them. Whatever happened to shampoo? As for the male attire, I thought Tom Cruise was the most dapper. (and I don't even think he is at all attractive) Now that I have shredded the red carpet, let's go inside. I'll give the Hollywood Foreign Press a nod. They sure can spill the champagne around. I have never seen so much flowing Moet. Perhaps that accounted for a few of the wobbly, bleary eyed incoherent acceptance speeches. Did anyone wonder if "Babs" Streisand was ever gonna' wrap it up. However, there were a few notable moments. Jim Carrey's hyper acceptance performance that even Andy Kaufman could not have delivered . Michael J. Fox, as always, looking cute as a Leprechaun. My personal favorite was Phil Collins' win. Several Oscar years ago, he was not permitted to perform his nominated song. The Academy decided he wasn't good looking enough. And Harrison Ford who closed the show. It made it worth the lengthy endurance 'cause I think he almost smiled!
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